I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
