I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
