i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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