Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
