i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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