He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
