thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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