My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
