woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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