I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
