Whod you bang
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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