I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Randomize
