I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
