every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
