I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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