yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
