So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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