i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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