Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
