I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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