Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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