Having a random hookup so left but love u
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
