she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
