herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
