i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
