Only a mothe r could love this liver
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
