so explain again why im purple
no
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
