I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
