Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
