i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Your penis caused this!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
