So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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