he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
