a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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