And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
