i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
