I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
