Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
