The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
