I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
