I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
