I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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