Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
