Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
