So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
