broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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