that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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