All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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