Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
