There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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