arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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