pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
