so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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