I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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