you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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