is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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