Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
